I just kind of contacted him. I'm not saying I did or didn't... just kind of. On my behalf, I'm a little buzzed. It's 10:30 and I considered not drinking for this reason, I knew I would not be able to control my urges and I would contact him. I'm only HALF drunk and I couldn't control myself. Geez. Anyways, I'm not going to say how or what I did or said so don't ask. It's a little embarrassing but only because it makes me vulnerable and I don't do vulnerable. I'm pretty bad ass and he's the only one I think has seen my vulnerable side, or at least seen it the most. I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have done that. I am just having a really hard time. I'll be okay though, I just have to practice a little more self control. I found the best quote today that sums all of this up better than any blog:
"Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it’s not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I’ve got to let him go so he knows just how much I love him. Maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll comeback, but if not, I can make it through this."
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